By his Excellency, Lord Sultan's request...

( Non-IC cut, video )

...Did my master enjoy my performance~?

((OOC: Dancer in Cain's court! (...yeah, rly.) With swords and fire, as promised. So, I picture her act starts out like the above clip, then it finishes like this. Magic curse skillz, you guys, magic curse skillz.))

Well, it'd been a while since they last opened up the floodgates like this.

Kinda like the seasons around here, huh?

If... I were to offer snack cakes...

Would you all come build a shelter?

[loud, agitated voice of a young girl]

MOTHERFUCKING SON OF A BITCH!!! THIS IS SO FUCKED!!

HEINKEL!! How the fuck did we get this lost?! Damn it all to hell, I thought you knew where we were going! This doesn't look a damn thing like Naples!!

...Hey... where the hell are you?! And where'd the vespa go?! OH MOTHERFUCKER. We're NEVER going to hear the end of this from the chief director!! NEVER!!

((OOC: Meet Sister Novice Yumie Takagi, age 15, aspiring assassin. Believes she and Heinkel took a VERY wrong turn while on the way to their first hit. Just pretend on the icons, okay? >.>))

I have a list of individuals who had previously expressed interest in volunteering for the New Arrival Outreach Program that I'd like to check in with to see if they're still interested.

( Volunteers )

The shelter will be opening very soon, and we intend to also offer a soup kitchen in order to provide a meal along with a place to sleep. Anyone who would like to sign up to help with the effort in donation of time, supplies, or financially is encouraged contact myself or Tony Foster. At the moment we're especially seeking people with large scale food preparation experience willing to help with planning and/or preparation in the soup kitchen. I can always be reached through the network and will be at the church later today if anyone would like to sign up in person and/or have a look at the--
[Text transmission stops]

[Voice post//accidental]

[A crashing sound, like that of a person stumbling into a solid object, followed by a vague grumble of "Ow".]

-skinned my-- Wait- Where-

[Loud gasp.]

HOW DID- !!

((OOC: Action spam in the church if anyone wants. Switched with Anderson. Ought to be putting two and two together anytime now. XD))

[Inhuman laughter in the background. Gunshots and a metallic clinking.]

Since when do these things LAUGH? That's just damn creep--

What the fuck?!

((OOC: Out killing with Heinkel and just witnessed some Joker'd Stewards.))

H-Heinkel? I heard you were h-here? I... um... uh... this-

[Whispering]

This is too weird.

[Another voice in the background, much like the first, but lower, inflected differently. More surly.]

You're telling me.

((OOC: See nun with two personalities. See the personalities split into two seperate people. Yep.))

Does anyone know what the hell we were doing yesterday?

Hey Heinkel, you ready for a real tour of this place?

((OOC: "We" refers to the group sucked into doing the Trinity Blood historical reenactment yesterday.))

Oh, for the love of... NOT THIS AGAIN.

You people are FREAKS! Especially you! WHY do you even want to know any of that, anyway?!

A sock.

A SOCK!

IT WAS A FUCKING SOCK!

( Private//Hackable )

Father Anderson, the sock's all yours if you still want it.

Miss Lang, since we've no longer need of babysitters, how does later today sound for that drink we talked about?

So I was thinking earlier and instead of wallowing in useless self-pity because Enrico is a miserable rat BASTARD I was wondering if anyone would be interested in setting up a sort of support system for those raising children in this City without the aid of a co-parent. Perhaps a daycare to fall back on if they and their usual preferred babysitters become stricken with curses, or cannot make sufficient work arrangements, or for some other reason become temporarialy unable to care for their childr--

[voice post accidentally activated]
[sound of something about laptop-sized being tossed to the side, frantic shout]

DAMNIT CAT!! STOP NOSING AT ALEX!!

[footsteps, mewing, the sound of door being shut, lower grumbling]

...I look away for one minute... crap, is this recording?

[rustling, button clicking]
[voice post switched off]

--Anyway. So if anyone would like to discuss this further, please contact me.


You know, this recent population boom lends credence to the old "Noah's Ark" theory that people used to toss around about the City. I wonder if there was any administrator-tampering with the pregnancies, they were so... sudden.

((OOC: Strike is not there.))

At what age do children stop waking you up thoroughout the night? It's too early to hope for with a newborn, I'm sure, I'm just wondering how long this will continue.

I doubt my state of my mind's been helping things at all. I try to seem happier around Alex -- none of this is his fault -- but it's truly difficult. Why does he have to look so much like his father?

This is worse than I could have ever imagined it could be. He was just... horrible.

O LORD I'm afraid to ever let Yumiko wake up. She doesn't need to deal with this.

((OOC: Strikes are private.))

I'm going to need someone to perform a Catholic baptism! Cardinal Dei Medici? Father Nightroad? Cardinal Sforza, but my world's church may not consider it valid?

Father Anderson, I would ask you first, but I wish for you to act as godfather. Would you? And do you mind being namesake?

ENRICO! WE REALLY NEED TO TALK!

Damnit all to hell! What the fuck am I going to do now?! This is a shame even greater than that of a broken vow! How am I going to raise thi--

--shhhhh, shhh, Kaasan didn't mean to scare you. It's okay, sweetie, Mamma loves you~ ♥

( ...he's so beautiful. )

[obvious panic]

WH-WHAT'S HAPPENING?! FATHER!! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!

Are people okay?! S-sir Integral? Are you ok-- ARE PEOPLE OKAY?!

What's going ON?!

Ohgoodlord. The wall is GONE...

((OOC: Down the hall from Arthur Hellsing's flat, so felt the impact good and strong, as well being affected by Zorin's illusion.))

[sheets rustling, sleepy mumbling]

...mmmph. Umph? Wha... Who--?

[violent rustling of fabric accompanied by a wordless shout, a harsh creak of bedsprings, metallic clinking, another creaking of springs, and a cry of alarmed frustration]

WHAT IS THIS?! UNLOCK ME!

((OOC: Just woke up handcuffed to Carl [notafieldman], whose arm would have gotten a jerk as she attempted to jump out of bed.))

[distant sound of water running]

Oh, yeeessss~ it feels so goooood to be touching something warm~ again-

Oh, stop gloating! I won't be getting any action as long you're on her!

So~ jea~lous~ just because I'm getting to touch that soft skin... and besides, you weren't getting nearly as much from her as you used to...

HEY! She went down with me sometimes! And even when I wasn't getting wet, there were always polishings. Careful, loving strokes down my length...

Do cherish those memories well, dear, since I'll be the only one getting polished around here for a while.

Jerk! It's pretty clear why you got "ass" right in your name!

[water cuts off, vague shuffling noises]

Oh hush. She's getting out of the shower. Don't want to startle her, hmmm~?

I don't know why she bothers with you. You're completely useless. You're not even perscription!

[approaching footsteps]

Ever thought she just likes~ me? ...perhaps even better than you~?

YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF JUNK!

Oh my, your mistress truly has been rubbing off on you, hasn't she? Pity that's the all the rubbing you'll reciev-- 

...who..?

[footsteps stop]

SON OF A--

..what on Earth?!

[sound of something falling] 

((OOC: Blue = glasses. Red = sword.))

You again?!

What did I tell you last time?

- No, you still can't touch my sword.
- No, you still can't pet my hair. What the fuck?
- No, you still can't hug me. Again.
- STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS ABOUT THE REST OF ISCARIOT!
- STOP ASKING ME ABOUT HER.

Now GET OUT of my doorway! How THE HELL did you even know where I lived?

[Several minutes of frantic flapping intercut with a few small squeaks followed by a thump.]

[text edit:] What kind of curse IS this?!

((OOC: Yumie has gained Mina Harker's vampiric shapeshifting ability for the day and somehow managed to turn herself into a bat for about fifteen minutes before changing back. Mid-air.))

( Private//Hackable )

So, after slicing away tentacles coming from under my bed this morning (ugh, Kraken flashbacks), I found this and this in the closet, then this in the bathtub.

Did the City's creatures have to play dressup? It's damned hard to get zombie out of a habit.

((OOC: First link a bit gross.))